Yep, it's angst. Yep, I had a pissy day. Yep, there is death. Yep, it's meant to be confusing and rushed feeling. Read at your own risk, and if you do, enjoy.



The first thing he saw was his brother’s eyes.

The first thing he felt was the touch of his brother’s fingers brushing his cheek.

His sight grew blurry, and he felt panic. Was he going to lose this already? “Niisan?”

“Shush, Al, shush.” Fingers on his cheek again. “Blink.”

Al listened to his brother. Then Ed took Al’s hands in his and brought them to Al’s face. Al was surprised to feel the dampness on his skin. “What…?”

The hands on his shook as Ed chuckled. “You’re crying, Al. Don’t you remember tears?”

He remembered tears. He remembered them more clearly than he wanted, but these weren’t tears of hurt or pain. These were tears of happiness.

With a sob, Al reached for his brother. Ed helped him sit, and Al was finally able to hug his brother as hard as he could. There was no danger of accidentally hurting his older brother. Al held on as tight as he could, and he began to tremble.

“You’re warm, Niisan.”

Suddenly Al was in a hug just as tight as the one he was giving. “It worked, Al. It really worked.”

The hug lasted a long time. Al wished it had lasted longer, but they slowly drew back. Not much. Their foreheads rested against each other, and Al looked at Ed. He was almost cross-eyed by how close they were, but he studied his brother. His fingers ran over Ed’s face, as if memorizing a face long watched but never touched.

“Al?”

Ed’s voice was soft, and Al paused in his exploration of Ed’s face. “Yes, Niisan?”

Fingers brushed Al’s hand. “May I kiss you, Al?”

Al froze.

“Niisan? What do you mean, kiss me?”

“A kiss, Al. Please? I promise I won’t hurt you.”

Al bit his lip. The sensation distracted him and fascinated him, so he did it a few more times. Finally, Ed coughed. “Al, stop ignoring me.”

Pulling away from his brother, Al pouted. “I’m not ignoring you. It just that I haven’t had lips for a long time. Or teeth for that matter. It all feels very strange.”

A look of guilt crossed Ed’s face, but he shook it off even before Al could say anything. “Al, I swear that I will never ask you another favor if you do this one thing for me. Please, just one kiss.”

The idea of kissing his brother made Al feel very conflicted. On one hand, this was his brother, and everyone said that you shouldn’t do things like that with your brother. On the other hand, this was his brother, and Al loved him very much.

It was the look on Ed’s face that finally made Al decide. The look that was so close to desperation that it made Al’s heart clench. “You promise it won’t hurt?” Al asked.

Something about Ed’s smile made Al pause. There was something sad in it. “I promise it won’t hurt, Al.”

Slowly, Al nodded.

Ed’s smile lit up his face. Moving slowly, he watched Al, and Al knew that if he flinched, Ed would stop. So he held himself very still as Ed leaned in.

Al’s first thought was that Ed’s lips were very soft. Softer than the hair that brushed his face, softer than the fingers that traces the line of his cheek. Closing his eyes, Al leaned into the kiss.

He wasn’t sure how long it lasted before Ed finally pulled back. His eyes fluttered open and met gold. The sad smile was back on Ed’s face, and Al felt his stomach twist. “Niisan, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Al. The best first kiss anyone could ever want.” Ed swallowed audibly, and Al felt the hair on the back of his neck raise up. “Sorry, Al.”

Before Al could do anything, Ed slapped his hands together and flung himself at Al. With a yelp, Al tried to fling himself backwards, confused about his brother’s behavior. But surprise was on Ed’s side, and he was able to get his arms around Al.

And slammed his hands against the back of Al’s neck.

Pain tore through Al, and he screamed.

A warm body was against his, and Al could hear Ed’s breathing in his ear. “I’m sorry, Al,” cried Ed, his voice barely heard above Al’s screams. “I need to bond your soul to your body. Sorry.”

The pain flared even brighter for a moment, and everything faded to white for Al. Dimly, he still heard Ed’s voice. “Remember the Gate this time, Al. Remember it, and I’m sorry.”

Vaguely, through the blinding white light of the pain, Al thought he was a gate. It was full of blackness and eyes, and the darkness in it was reaching out. It curled around the brilliant light that was in front of him, and Al caught the impression of two burning suns starting at him. “Live, Al.”

Then the darkness swallowed everything.

///

He hurt. Everything ached, and Al took his time forcing his eyes opened. Blinking away at the blurriness, he stared at the fuzzy ceiling. Had there been a ceiling there when he had talked to his brother? He couldn’t remember.

Movement next to him, someone with light hair. Al opened his mouth to yell at his brother, but all that came out was a croak. The hair shifted and then a cool glass was pressed against his lips. Swallowing the liquid that came from the glass, Al almost choked at the unusual sensation of taste and swallowing.

“Niisan?” Why was everything so blurry now? It had been clear earlier.

“Al-kun, it’s good to see you awake.”

It wasn’t his brother. It was Hawkeye who sat next to his bed. Blinking rapidly, Al realized his vision was slowly clearing. “Hawkeye-san, where’s Niisan? What happened?”

Hawkeye smiled, and Al was disturbed by the fact that it was the same sad smile that Ed had been giving him earlier. “The doctors said that you would be waking up soon, so we’ve been taking turns watching you. We didn’t want you to wake up alone.”

Alone? Why would he be alone? “Where’s Niisan?” Al tried to sit up, only to realize that the blankets draped on him must have weighed a ton. “Why isn’t Niisan here?”

He remembered pain. Something about his soul. The back of his neck throbbed as if it had been burned. Did Niisan have to bond his soul to this body as well?

“Alphonse, it’s good to see you awake.” Al looked past Hawkeye and saw that Roy Mustang now stood in the door.

“Where’s Niisan, Colonel Mustang? Where’s my brother?”

Roy looked at Hawkeye, who gave a tiny shrug. He sighed and then looked at Al again. “We were hoping you knew, Al. We found you, and that was all.”

Al froze. He remembered the Gate.

He remembered the things that came from the Gate. The things that had curled around his brother and pulled him away.

Al screamed.

Instantly, Hawkeye rose and pulled him against her, and he let her. He screamed again, and she pulled him tighter. Roy had gone to the door, and Al vaguely heard him shout something, but he was too busy trying to remember everything that had happened.

The Gate had taken his brother. It had taken Ed in exchange for the bonding of Al’s soul to a human form.

Al ignored the pinprick of the needle as it slid into his arm, and he ignored the babble of the people who had flooded the room in response to Roy’s shouts and his own screams.

Ed had lied to him. He had said it wasn’t going to hurt.

Al hurt. He hurt more than he ever had in his life.

He wanted Ed back.

He fell into darkness again, the memory of his brother’s kiss still on his lips, and the voices of strangers in his ears.



Wanted to write a angry Roy/Ed, with pouncing and fighting and smut, but I can't get them to cooperate with me on that. Sorry.
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