I think one of the things that makes this so fascinating is that you're presenting it in such a way that the reader, like Cloud, really has very little idea of what's going on behind the scenes. We're presented with the world and we discover it all along with the characters, but they're not going and spilling out their inner secrets immediately. You've provided enough hints and details in each of them that I'm fascinated and tantalized, but still sort of scrabbling around for more.
His chest ached, as if something had hit him really hard, and he shifted, pressing his palm against the center of his ribs. That ached, and he let out a strangled gasp at the shock of pain.
That particular line makes me go "oooh," especially considering the title of this particular arc. It's just a little detail that reflects/foreshadows so very nicely with what happens in Gift and Guilt.
Sun is one of my favorites, if only because it shows what Cloud's "normal" life was like in the Darkness, and again gives us those fun little hints.
As he traveled the paths, he collected bits and pieces of gear, debris from fallen worlds.
That explains his hodge-podge outfit perfectly! =D
The murmur that tells you what to feel, how you should act.
I didn't catch that particular line in Deaf until the second read-through. That's really where I started to see the looming face of the oncoming tidal wave. That's also what made Mute suddenly make sense, because before I was a little confused until I realized, "Oh, Sephiroth's trying to figure out how to make Zack-voice shut up."
Then it faded, and he looked to his friend.
And found gold eyes looking back.
...well, shit. I can't quite tell if Cloud's turned into a Heartless (I don't think so? I hope not, at least) or if his eyes have just turned gold with the sudden Lack of Zack. Which rhymes, and I don't know why that amuses me so.
Zack was dead.
And Cloud had just remembered who he was.
To quote Red Mage from 8-Bit Theatre: DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!
This AU thrills me, and you've managed to work the elements of it into the world so well that I don't see discrepancies. At all. This could be just one interpretation of what actually happened to Cloud (and Sephiroth, and Zack) in the game, because it just fits in so very, very well.
I can't wait for the next part! Here, have some gratuitous hearts, your deserve them: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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His chest ached, as if something had hit him really hard, and he shifted, pressing his palm against the center of his ribs. That ached, and he let out a strangled gasp at the shock of pain.
That particular line makes me go "oooh," especially considering the title of this particular arc. It's just a little detail that reflects/foreshadows so very nicely with what happens in Gift and Guilt.
Sun is one of my favorites, if only because it shows what Cloud's "normal" life was like in the Darkness, and again gives us those fun little hints.
As he traveled the paths, he collected bits and pieces of gear, debris from fallen worlds.
That explains his hodge-podge outfit perfectly! =D
The murmur that tells you what to feel, how you should act.
I didn't catch that particular line in Deaf until the second read-through. That's really where I started to see the looming face of the oncoming tidal wave. That's also what made Mute suddenly make sense, because before I was a little confused until I realized, "Oh, Sephiroth's trying to figure out how to make Zack-voice shut up."
Then it faded, and he looked to his friend.
And found gold eyes looking back.
...well, shit. I can't quite tell if Cloud's turned into a Heartless (I don't think so? I hope not, at least) or if his eyes have just turned gold with the sudden Lack of Zack. Which rhymes, and I don't know why that amuses me so.
Zack was dead.
And Cloud had just remembered who he was.
To quote Red Mage from 8-Bit Theatre: DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!
This AU thrills me, and you've managed to work the elements of it into the world so well that I don't see discrepancies. At all. This could be just one interpretation of what actually happened to Cloud (and Sephiroth, and Zack) in the game, because it just fits in so very, very well.
I can't wait for the next part! Here, have some gratuitous hearts, your deserve them: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
One quick thing:
"And empty stone. - An, not and.